So, today is Sunday well i usually go to church then eat lunch with friends. Afterward, i decide if i should take a nap or do homework. Well today is different, i woke up not in the mood, of course, to get out of a warm bed. And lazy was also factored into the situation. I realized how much i had really not listened and had been ignoring my time of healing with Christ the entire week. I felt I had replaced Him with friends and pastors. Which i had subconsciously done. I was focused on school and seemed too busy to actually talk to Him. Bad idea, so i decided to have an actual deal with God and devote majority of my entire day to Him. I also had other things to finish but to really dig deep into the Word. So, i started with looking up the sermons from my home church. The sermon being preached is always playing when the pastor is speaking, so i thought i could make it. Well i missed it so i went to podcast's to see if there was anything for me to actually listen to.
Just recently i have been writing my story and what has influenced it along with my core beliefs. So as i scanned the choices, i spotted the word adoption, if you know me you know i am adopted from South Korea and I am completely a southern American. I love southern food and all its goodness. No cutting corners is how i see it. I love southern hospitality too. Any who, being adopted, the more i look at my life, resonates throughout all my choices and my core beliefs. being adopted and not realizing your identity in Christ is hard to find and hard to grasp but i know He has me on that trail to find myself in Him.
Today was not just another "mountain top" experience. It became real to me while reading and listening to both my pastors talk about Ephesians 1:3-19. I belong to Him.
For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be ADOPTED as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves.
I realized how deep the adoption went, i finally broke that wall that said, "How can i belong to Christ when I am adopted and completely different and my earthly father gave me away." Being adopted has effected me more than i thought it would or had done. I still viewed Christ as a person that might just leave me alone without an explanation. I now understand how much He has already accepted me without my own ideas or thoughts in the way. I have let many lies turn me in the opposite way of thinking of who i am and who i really belong to. I have always felt the need to belong but i had no idea where exactly i needed to belong. I knew, in my head, that i was God's child but it never clicked, in the heart, that He is who i belong to. I have been listening to music and a lot of the songs have helped a lot of things open up doorways and windows in my life. Also, again, how much adoption has effected me without me not knowing. I dont know, i feel i have just found some of the depths of me being adopted and the effects of the situation. But i know that the Lord has me in His arms all the time and there is no question about His love and idea of choosing me through adoption and being one of His servants.
Until next time......
Enjoy your week!
Love in Christ
Jenna :)
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